Jealousy rising!

Now I've come to the terms that I do harbour such feelings, and strong ones in fact. Before this, I denied every comment saying that I may be a person who has a high level of jealousy because I've never felt such a feeling at such intensity, at such an extent that I'm literally feeling down because of it. I guess the horoscopes were correct after all.
The more known you become, the more small the world becomes and the more you realise that everyone you're friends with are friends with other friends and the chain goes on and on. Am I getting paranoid or is it just written in the stars that such a thing is bound to happen.

I know that networking is just networking but I can't stop feeling that there's more to than just being friends. I'm bothered by the fact that some of my friends, whom I acknowledge to be quite popular, are friends to my other friends. I'm not trying to be vain or anything but, once you start to grow powerful and influential, you start to become overly critical, especially if you're in the world I am in. (A few might understand what "world" I'm talking about.) I think too much. I love all of my friends but I just can't stop feeling this way. Maybe it's because of the fact that I just can't trust anyone. That's just me and I can't change the way I am. I struggle to evade from thinking about it any further, but the urge within just sets you to do so. The more I investigate, the more I stalk, the more I dig, the worse I feel. Sometimes I wish, why can't the world be bigger? Why can't I have friends that are mine, and you have friends that are yours. I know it sounds absurd, but I just don't want my friends to be contaminated by the thoughts and activities of others. If such activities and thoughts are good, then I don't mind, but what if they're bad? Why does everything have to be so intertwined and complicated? It's just inevitable that this thing happens, especially when the internet is involved. I'm not saying that you don't have the right to open your wings and be liberate, but why can't you be more deliberate? I'm really sorry if this post hurts anybody's feelings but I just can't help but let out my thoughts.

Praise the lord!

We were happily playing Band Hero,or whatsoever it's called on Maliha's PS 3. Just me Alepp, Maliha, Asad, and Maliha's sisters. I sang 2 of Taylor Swift's songs and 1 of No Doubt's songs.

Then suddenly Alepp's phone rang and we disregarded it as something insignificant and continued playing. I knew that something was queer when he suddenly raised his voice. I confirmed that it was something to be alarmed about when he asked the person on the phone "OMG! Da boleh check da?!!". My heart skipped a beat and I screamed!! Haha

Without even hearing the word "results" under Alepp's breath, I could already predict what was about to happen.

The next thing I knew, everyone had stopped playing and Maliha was already bringing down her lappy and I insisted that I check my results first. I was jumping around like a freak and singing like I was mad. That was the only thing that salvaged my sanity a that time. Though it might sound weird, singing PGL songs actually soothed my anxious soul, especially the "Duhai yang kuasa, sambutlah diriku yang ingin pulang kepadamu" and the "Maha pencipta, sambutlah harapan dan doa yang terminta"songs. Haha (Mary had a little lamb too. XD)

The first few times were all kaput, but the shitty internet connection finally gave through. I finally was able to enter the student portal. I screamed like hell when I got through. I shooed everyone except for Maliha's sisters so that they wouldn't see my results. At first, Alepp urged me to open the Mini Transcript because he said that it'd be faster and indeed it was, but my results weren't displayed there. It was empty.Then, I had to enter my student ID and my IC number. When I finally entered the site, I screamed 3 times louder than before. I was awed and my mouth was agape. I saw my examination result. Everyone rushed towards me and asked what I obtained. The results are as the following:-

1	CTU551	ISLAM AND ASIAN CIVILIZATION	K2	2	A-	LU
2	EDU400	FOUNDATIONS OF EDUCATION	K1	2	B+	LU
3	EDU430	INTRODUCTION TO GUIDANCE AND COUNSELLING	K1	3	A-	LU
4	EDU455	COMPUTERS IN EDUCATION	K1	2	A-	LU
5	TSL420	LITERATURE IN ENGLISH	K1	3	A	LU
6	TSL426	LINGUISTICS IN LANGUAGE TEACHING	K1	3	A	LU

	JUMLAH NILAI KREDIT	JUMLAH KREDIT	PURATA NILAI GRED
SEMESTER INI	56.35	15	3.76
KEPUTUSAN PEPERIKSAAN	AD(ANUGERAH DEKAN)
CATATAN	LULUS

I jumped across the living room and screamed my heart out! I was so happy that I started getting high. Bliss, as to say, overwhelmed me. I was singing, dancing and making a fool out of myself. Everyone thought I was going crazy and indeed I was. Crazily blissful! Haha

I thanked the lord and praised Him and the prophet for my results and even did the "sujud syukur". (Tasbih, tahmid, tahlil sume tu xyah cite r. HAHA) I was so thankful because I never anticipated that I'd get such results. I reckoned that I'd get 3.40-ish or something because I obviously underperformed this semester since there were subjects that I hated like Counselling and Foundations in Education. I was surprised that i got an A- for Counselling since I didn't quite like that subject. It was too factual for me. Haha. But nonetheless I aced it. Just look at what I got for FOE, a B+... A FRIKKIN B+!!!! Damn! I hate FOE SO MUCH!!! Miss Fatin must hate for not behaving in class and for that one incident. (Kurang ajar.. NEXT!!! HAHAHA) Lol. It kinda looks a bit out of place, you know, a B+ making itself look ugly in a crowd of A's. Lol. But I don't care. Whatever. I got a 3.76, that's enough for me.

I could've done better though. :)

I was kinda put off when I finally told my mum my results. I said "Ma, Boleh tgk Results da". She asked me what I got. And I answered "Dpt DL". She replied "How much?". I answered "3.76". The phrase that disappointed me 'a little' was that she said "Ha, pointer drop!'. I wasn't really shaken by that because I knew I did well and she congratulated me and wished me to keep it up. :)

I always ask for stuff from my parents whenever I get good grades and this semester, I asked for a new phone since I lost mine during the trip to Pangkor I went with my peeps but I'm not going to elaborate on that right now. Haha. When my dad knew about my results, he wasn't at all surprised or enthusiastic about it, not even during my previous semesters of which I obtained good results. I still wonder why. Haha. Anyway, I asked for RM900 and my dad said that I should ask from my mum since I always ask for stuff from him and he said that he has no money. Haha. I recently received a new lappy from him since I got good grades during the last semester also. My mum, being the wealthy Mak Datin-ish collector and seller of precious gemstones, agreed on the condition (That I proposed) that I pay for 1/4 of the money when I get my PTPTN, of which I will apply for next sem. That's good enough for me. :D

Alhamdulillah~

I hope to continue to get good results in the semesters to come. :)

If.

If only I had you in my arms,
the pain bearing deep in my heart would subside,
the pain of wanting you by my side,
the pain of longing for your affection,

If only you were near me,
I would die a happy man,
I would leap to the sky like never before,
I would serenade you with showers of love and joy,

If only I could see you smiling at me one more time,
All the evils of the world would perish,
All the bad memories would be forgotten,
All the wounds would heal,

Because you are here,
If only you were here.

By : Kei

Art post

This is Japan from Hetalia.
Drawn on Tegakie. Colouring on Tegakie is hard, because you need to take into considertaion the opacity and all the detailed shit.
Don't you think he has cute hair? Haha
I once had hair like that. Lol
Mushroom-ish. XD

Hiatus

It's now the holidays and I intend to enjoy every second of it. Maybe I'll find some inspiration to write stuff here more often and draw stuff for you guys to see. As you all know, I haven't been updating my blog that much lately, and I've drawn less throughout the months. Maybe it's because I've been too busy, but then, even when I'm free I don't do so that often anymore. Or maybe, it's an art block. D: This time round, I'll make sure that I draw and write more, just so that I don't lose any degree of those skills which are so precious to me. My hands are my tools and the canvas is my bible. I've been working on a drawing for quite some time now and it's relatively simple, but I haven't been able to complete it. When I'm done, I'll display it here.

Btw, have you watched Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' ? It's the shiz! Love her style and her videos.

The Blue Danube

Pitter Patter,
How the glistening droplets splatter,
Acting in my favour,
Without any matter,

Coming into sight from the hill yonder,
A drake and a swan greet each other,
To the river they come hither,
Startling the horses into a canter,

Sprinkle twinkle,
The stars they all mingle,
Like being droplets on a web they dangle,
Crowded but minus the hassle,

Though they are in quite a bustle,
Nothing is too hard for god to handle,
Nor is anything too subtle,
For god orders these stars like horses in saddle,

Splish splash,
The swan and drake play in the marsh,
Upsetting the quietly swimming fish,
Making them all go Hush!

The swan being endowed with a sash,
Never brags out in a lash,
But plays with the drake in greens lush,
Wading in the gooey mush,

By : Kei

Glissando

The keys are struck,
The rhythmic melody ensues,

Marcato, Marcato.
Accents emphasised,
Mezzo Forte in sforzando,
Unique in every way,

Let them know,
How exquisite one's own piece is,
How enigmatic one's own piece is,
How ethereal one's own piece is,

Fortissimo,fortissimo,
Louder I say!
Entrance this world with the sound of fury,
Let the augmented sounds mesmerise the stage with a repeating fugue,
Full of animus and sorrow,

Prestissimo, prestissimo,

By: Kei

Unfinished piece, I don't have any inspiration to continue writing this anymore.